We give power for things to exist.
Take suffering. Suffering just is. Its nothing. But if I see it as pain and something that is negative then that is what it will be. I am not able to accept suffering for what it is. A part of life.
In a strange way I am fighting against myself. My mind sees the suffering and is impartial but my heart sees suffering as being painful and unbearable.
My mind( being practical) says I need to face the problem but my heart make excuses, blame others for my woes and runs away from problems.
There is a conflict between my mind and my heart and my actions. This to me causes a lot of problems.
Instead of suffering take anger for example. When I am driving on the road, road rage takes over. Things should be a certain way but it is not. I am right and everybody is wrong. I start venting. The truth is that there is actually nothing there. My minds knows it. But my heart is saying something else. And I rage on. It is so easy to do it and it becomes a pattern of behaviour that I repeat. Inside is conflicted but I ignore it.
I need to be more self aware. See and understand myself as a whole and make sure my heart and mind are holding hands and working as one. I need to be harmonised internally and not conflicted. More stable.
If I am one internally I can start to solve problems and when woes hits me, I can deal with it. I can work with and work through problems. Using both mind and heart that is talking to each other and not be blinded.
I need to accept the realities of what is there. Not create layers of things on top of the reality just because I do not want to face things that are unpleasant to face.